Chapter 1 - New Beginnings.
It was late at night when something happened.
Suddenly the lights and the telly went out.
A fuse blew down in the basement.
Heddy farted as she quivered to the fact that she had to venture down to the basement to fix the fuse.
With a flash light in hand, Heddy climbed down the basement stairs heavily and with effort. The railing made sense to her in her advanced age, unlike in her youth.
Reaching the bottom stair she breathed a sigh of relief then farted as the flash light darted all over.
Beer bottles clinked together in the farthest corners of the darkest basement, this scared Heddy but she moved slowly with a flash light in her hand.
She knew people were living in her basement, people she didn't see or only saw when they were running from her house in the backyard in the day time.
It terrified her but she had to get something done in the basement so that life could go on as usual upstairs.
"I just need to flick a switch." She said out loud.
Noise of scampering happened at either side of her in the darkest parts of the basement as she walked towards the fuse box.
When she saw the fuse box dimly lit at first, then getting brighter and more in focus, she then farted again.
Heddy threw the switch and the lights and telly went on upstairs.
As she looked up at the slightly opened basement door, she noticed it was now lit from behind.
This relaxed her and so she farted again.
As she turned around to make her way to the stairs, a voice shouted out.
"Really!? You're just gonna fart and get the heck out of here!?" said one of the strangers living in the basement.
Heddy froze as she listened and let out a small pitchy fart.
Suddenly there was a lot of movement in the dark reaches of the dank basement and whispering voices.
Heddy then panicked and ran as best as she could, up the stairs closing the door behind her and locking it.
The sound of many feet running after her up the stairs, then a loud banging of the door followed.
Heedy then made it out to her living room and cried as she farted.
"Of all people why me!?" She thought out load.
So Heddy went to bed upstairs and farted.
Chapter 2 - The Ministers Wife.
Heddys thumb went numb just as she was starting to eat her beef barley soup with the church ministers wife.
The soup flew everywhere as she lost control of the spoon..
"Holy crap!" Said Heddy out load as she farted in excitement.
"My problems get the best of me." She said as an excuse and then relaxed and farted again.
The church ministers wife who had ordered the baked beans then smiled and slowly pushed the bowl away from herself.
Heddy excused herself from the table and made her way to the ladies room to powder her nose.
She did anything but and walked straight into a stall.
Back at the table, the ministers wife ordered desert.
An apple pie with a pecan crumble.
Heddy eventually returned, dishevelled and sweat through.
It was if all her pores had opened.
"Can we get the dessert to go?" She inquired, then farted once again.
Chapter 3 - How very uncomfortable for Heddy.
Back at home Heddy quietly entered her dwelling, making sure not to make a sound.
Disturbing the people in her basement was the last thing on her mind, so she made it to her second floor bedroom without drawing unwanted attention.
But she farted when she bent over to pick up a snot rag from the floor and then all hell broke loose down stairs.
The steel basement door that she had installed, suddenly sounded like it was being scratched with metal and that made her nervous fart...
Finally settling down to sleep as the sun came up and the noise in the basement stopped, Heddy said her prayers, then got out of bed to see if anyone was running away from her house.
Someone was and he only had his pants on.
No shirt, shoes or socks, just pants and long hair.
"Hippies in my basement?" Said Heddy with a bit of disappointment and then went back to bed.
